Category Archives: Food and Products

Presidential Recipes!

Digging through the internet, I found this great compendium of presidential recipes!
http://blogpublic.lib.msu.edu/index.php/2006/02/20/white_house_presidential_recipes_through?blog=5

Also, George Washington’s  beer: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1591417

Weak Will and Natural Disasters

Photo courtesy of tacobell.com

It’s well established that I can’t pass up novelty food items. Lately I’ve been passing it off as “research” for “food journalism”, but that doesn’t explain my recent encounter at Taco Bell. I had already eaten a huge breakfast (buckwheat soba noodles in a spicy chicken broth… as hangover cure “research”) and was on my way home with a car full of people that wanted to stop for fast food. At the drive through,  I saw the sign for THE VOLCANO TACO. OMG. That thing was so spicy they died the shell neon red. I pointed at it and said something along the lines of, “I need that NOW.”

Truth is, I really didn’t need it. I was monumentally disappointed- it was not nearly hot enough to be called a VOLCANO, or even just a volcano. I’ve had mild at thai resturants that were spicier than this. The taco was basically a normal one, with a cheese sauce that tasted like they had poured a couple packets of Fire Sauce in. The shell was slightly sweeter than normal, which was a good contrast and doused the inital spicy heat enough to turn it into a lingering background burn.

Bottom Line: Better than the default taco bell taco, but not VOLCANO (TM) good. 3/10

So cliche it hurts: Rutt’s Hut

 

 

Weird Food Products

 

I know. You’ve all heard of it. Most’ve you have been there. Until the other night when my boyfriend and I attended a preseason Jets game, I’d never visited. And despite my negative opinions of it, which mostly formed after actually eating the hot dogs, it is just as true a piece of New Jersey history and present as anything else we have. 

More after the cut…

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Raw Bars: The Ron Puke Revolution

At a friend’s apartment recently, we were offered to sample a new product. Someone’s aunt (the crazy hippie aunt everyone seems to have) had sent them a box of raw food bars to try out. You know it’s going to be good when someone offers you food with a disclaimer along the lines of “do you want any of this before I throw it out.” Review and modern sculpture after the jump.

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Why did it have to be sna—I mean M&Ms.

Sure, this movie came out a while ago. Sure, it was to mostly mediocre reviews. But what we have here, folks, is something entirely different–mint crispy m&ms, which one assumes were made by simply taking the crispy batter and covering it with the mint chocolate. While these are a delicious treat that you can most likely find on sale by this point, there were several problems with them:

  1. They had wildly varying shapes. From blobs to actual m&m shapes! AMAZING.
  2. They are much too delicious to be only once in a lifetime. They taste exactly like thin mint Girl Scout cookies. In fact, why don’t Girl Scouts have their own candies? They’d rock and also probably be completely full of trans fat.
  3. They have nothing to do with any movie ever, unless there is a movie about growing mint plants out of a garden made entirely out of chocolate rice krispies. Which there isn’t, not until I get funding. Corporate scum.

Mystery of the Dorito Revealed in Quest

We all go on quests now and then. Frodo went on a quest to get rid of the rings. Sonic the Hedgehog went on a quest to get the rings. Spinal Tap went on a quest to be the best band possible. But maybe Doritos shouldn’t go on a quest.

The Quest mystery Doritos truly had us baffled at first–one guess was margarita, another key lime pie. As it turns out, these salty-limey-sweet Doritos were…Mountain Dew. While they tasted okay, they also tasted like something a pregnant woman would absolutely love to nosh on inbetween her smoked salmon and beetroot sandwiches. Or maybe something a pirate would take with him to the high seas to battle scurvy.

Bottom Line: The cheeseburger ones were better. 

 


On Omelets and Life

Today was a rough start for me. I woke up feeling rather stupid after having drank way more than I should’ve, and had a horrible headache. Even after chugging a Propel fitness water, I felt like poo. “Store…”, I squeaked to my boyfriend, “We have to go to the store. I need Aleve…”

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Collasal Falafel Failure: How one pantry meal almost caused tears.

You know what I love? Salt. I love salt. I have tried everything from pink Hawaiian sea salt to Morton’s and I just can’t seem to get enough. Salt is a lot like the Force. You can use it for good, or for evil. Casbah Natural Foods’ falafel uses it for dismal, terrible evil. A single serving (1/3 cup dry or 4 patties) contains 680 milligrams of sodium, or 28 percent. Assuming you eat two servings you’ve just consumed over half your day’s salt. And while some foods, like Twinkies, are also high in sodium, they don’t suck the moisture out of your face in quite the same cruel, Darth Vader like way.

Paired with jasmine rice, yogurt sauce and mixed vegetables I was hoping for a simple, healthy, vegetarian meal. What I got was the same feeling I got at age 10 when I accidentally pranked myself by putting salt in the sugar bowl (I was a bright child.)

Comsmopolitan KitKats: Flavors from Japan

Weird Food Products

Jess: Just when you think you really know everything about Kit-Kats, a product from Japan sets your opinions reeling. At Mitsuwa Marketplace we discovered these Kit-Kats in green tea and caramel flavoring. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they weren’t worth the four dollars we paid for them. When opening the caramel Kit-Kat’s package, you got a definate and lovely smell of caramel. Like caramel delicious enough to make you into an enraged ape diving for the Kit-Kat like it was some sublime banana. Unfortunately, the caramel Kit-Kat is a tease. It lied to us–to me. There was almost no caramel flavor.

The green tea one was even more of a rip off, at four dollars and no green tea flavor. At least they were beautiful, as James Houde’s photos let us see. At least.

 


The Beer With A Golden Ticket


James: The other week super-awesome-mega self proclaimed Irish Yankee drinking band Ceann was making a rare tour stop in NJ, at my freakin college. I was so pumped, I really love these guys and their music. With songs like ‘Pabst Blue Ribbon’ containing lyrics like “Get ready for the show stopper/We’ll sing along with Dennis Hopper/Heineken, man fuck that shit, Pabst Blue Ribbon is the beer that keeps on Giving/For Such a modest price you get a beer you drink twice.”

Needless to say, I was ready to drink my fill of Pabst and then some. I went to two local liquor stores to score the beer of steel works and scenesters but came up empty. At the second store, I saw what I figured would be close enough: Golden Anniversary Beer. Pabst got a blue ribbon in 18xx, Golden Anniversary got a golden medal in 1987. Both cost like $5 a twelve pack. It was on.

I wish it was off. I can honestly say, this is the worst beer I have ever purchased. It tasted like water with beer and tin can flavorings, and probably was left over from the originally award winning 1987 batch stored in old diesel drums. Trying to choke them down at a party, a man known to wear and sleep in the same clothes for a week exclaimed that it was the worst beer he had ever tasted. It’s really that bad. (The only thing keeping it from being the worst beer that I’ve ever tasted is because I brew my own and did an experiment involving 10 pounds of malt and distillers yeast. It was so foul no known human could finish even one.)

Jess: I had our usual “taster’s shotglass” of this stuff, and I have to say that Golden Magic Ticket beer is probably the worst beer I have ever had. I have quaffed the likes of natty, of bud, of god knows what else during my tenure at college but this stuff tastes like yak urine and not in the good way. If there is a good way. I hate to be crass here but I’m pretty sure this beer actually causes every single problem in the entire world just by existing. Little kid with a hole in his shoe in India? Golden Anniversary Beer. Bee population plummeting? Golden Anniversary Beer. I really, really, REALLY tried to pretend it was drinkable, but I couldn’t get past one sip. At college events they should provide this if they don’t want us getting drunk. Seriously.


Bottom Line: Buying Golden Anniversary Beer leads to sad dissapointment and that crunched up “That is awful” look. $5.99 for a twelve pack.