Why did it have to be sna—I mean M&Ms.

Sure, this movie came out a while ago. Sure, it was to mostly mediocre reviews. But what we have here, folks, is something entirely different–mint crispy m&ms, which one assumes were made by simply taking the crispy batter and covering it with the mint chocolate. While these are a delicious treat that you can most likely find on sale by this point, there were several problems with them:

1. They had wildly varying shapes. From blobs to actual m&m shapes! AMAZING.
2. They are much too delicious to be only once in a lifetime. They taste exactly like thin mint Girl Scout cookies. In fact, why don’t Girl Scouts have their own candies? They’d rock and also probably be completely full of trans fat.
3. They have nothing to do with any movie ever, unless there is a movie about growing mint plants out of a garden made entirely out of chocolate rice krispies. Which there isn’t, not until I get funding. Corporate scum.

Mystery of the Dorito Revealed in Quest

We all go on quests now and then. Frodo went on a quest to get rid of the rings. Sonic the Hedgehog went on a quest to get the rings. Spinal Tap went on a quest to be the best band possible. But maybe Doritos shouldn’t go on a quest.

The Quest mystery Doritos truly had us baffled at first–one guess was margarita, another key lime pie. As it turns out, these salty-limey-sweet Doritos were…Mountain Dew. While they tasted okay, they also tasted like something a pregnant woman would absolutely love to nosh on inbetween her smoked salmon and beetroot sandwiches. Or maybe something a pirate would take with him to the high seas to battle scurvy.

Bottom Line: The cheeseburger ones were better.